I’m ready to come out of “survival mode” … but- when you’ve built a life +even your success, literally on the foundation of trying to survive, is it even… possible? If so, what does that look like? how does it even feel? would people even notice? Hell, would they even MF care?
if only people knew the lessons, the blows, the fists, the hurt, the pain that has gone into literally everything I’ve created, maybe they would understand why I ride so hard for mine. I‘ve endured so much during my short 32 years, that I wonder if people even realize that the place, they seem daily inspiration is literally what could be the pages to a series of novels built around my life… my wounds.. my “resilience”
I am yearning so desperately to feel +to BE anything other than strong +resilient. especially when it’s followed by because I have to be
I want to know what it feels like to be soft because that’s normal… I want to know what it feels like to break, because, that too, is normal… I want to know what it feels like today to create something beautiful from a place of joy, a place of love, a place of balance, a place of support, a place of being surrounded by warmth, because all of those are in fact, yep- normal.
I'm praying one day it’ll happen… but life be life-ing +some days even the sun feels like a luxury, a privilege, some would even say, hell, I would say.
today, I’m grateful for the gift of honesty, of transparency, the gift of not being afraid to say I'm not ok… because so many are suffering in silence… I was one of them until just now
so, this one’s for us. the ones who know being soft is a birthright.
May we finally see what it feels like to be soft, forever.