Strong, Protective + Free
Since Dec 24th, 2015, you and I managed to share countless kisses “goodnight.” With each one planted, I always knew there would be more. There was no such thing as “the last one,” because our lives were to remain intertwined, us together, our kisses and love, forever. That was until January 7th, 2020. We both woke up—our day going as always planned—off to work, but all I kept doing was watching the clock. Knowing that with each passing second, our lives would be forever changed after that night. My stomach in knots as the clock got closer to 4PM, knowing you would be outside waiting for me. It was the first time I have never wanted to leave, tricking myself into thinking that the longer I stayed there, the more time I would have you. Reality set in, and as I exited the building to enter the car, I was greeted with a kiss. I hesitantly accepted it, because I knew more would come. I knew this wasn’t our “goodbye.”
You whisked me off to dinner, and we drove home in silence; your mind just has heavy as my heart. The sun started to go down, and as night time approached, I remember us lying in bed, earlier than usual. We laid, holding hands, each one of our legs crossed in between the other’s. I looked over at the clock and noticed hours had passed.
The sun started to go down, and as night time approached, I remember us lying in bed, earlier than usual. We laid, holding hands, each one of our legs crossed in between the other’s. I looked over at the clock and noticed hours had passed.
My eyes became heavy, but I didn’t want to sleep, I just wanted to lay in your arms. Because I knew I would never be able to experience this, you—experience US like this ever again. We shared our fondest memories we experienced over the years with one another—me recalling everything I’ve saved in our “love story” box. From concerts we’ve been to, our first pregnancy, restaurant menus of some of our favorite places, and our first date. Holiday cards andeven dirt recovered from the land we wanted to purchase our first home together. My heart broke and the tears began to flow. Then, the kisses came and with each one given my heart broke because I knew they were numbered. From there, the countdown began. 6 hours, 100 kisses, 4 hours, 67 kisses left. By the remaining 2 hours we had left together, we exchanged over 427 kisses. Each one representing something different, each one speaking what was unspeakable.
From “I’m sorry” to, “forgive me.” “I’ll miss you,” to, “Never leave me.” Our hearts broke. Together.
3:45 AM the morning of January 8th, 2020. You and I shared space in the middle of a parking lot, only us two. Much like how our love story began the night of December 24th 2015. Just you and I under the moon light, only inches between us, time became nonexistent. Our souls remembering one another from past lives lived, our eyes full of hope, our hearts bursting with emotions. Nothing was said, yet so much was understood. With only the moon light kissing our skin, we embraced one last time, on what was probably the longest night of my life.
We shared a kiss so strong, it could be felt miles away, 240 miles to be exact. The silence between us was broken, “Mr. Knight, it’s time to board.” Everything went silent. Leaving only the sound of tears and broken hearts to be heard. You gently pulled away, and told me to get in the car, you wanted me to remember you that way. Strong, protective, free.